Workshop at Gyan Shakti Vidyalaya NOIDA , 29th April 2016

ProjectOye conducted a workshop on gender sensitization and gender biases for Class V-VI kids at Shakti Gyan Vidyala, Sector 15 NOIDA. 

The workshop sought to help children understand gender discrimination and spot instances of it in their lives. This will help children take active steps towards preventing future instances of gender discrimination and taking active strides in fighting it. 

The DelhiOYE team with Retd. Admiral HC Malhotra, a distinguished founder member of Shakti Gyan Vidyalaya and Mrs. Guddi Nagi, an active member of the board.

The DelhiOye team busy taking the session.

Happy, smiling faces are such a treat ! The children thoroughly enjoyed themselves 

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The children were very pleased with the two hour workshop which involved several fun yet educating activities for the kids. The children learnt valuable lessons and understood that discrimination on the basis of gender should not be encouraged

We Promote Humanity..

A message absolute and direct-

It takes a man to have woman like her,
And it takes a lot for a woman to have a man like him.
Let gender not have control over the opportunities that you get,
It's talent, ability, skill and responsibilities well, that have to be met.
Let masculinity not be judged on the basis of what work you do,
Females aren't their responsibility, but the equivalent other pair of shoe,
Masculinity or femininity do not get wronged if responsibilities get exchanged,
It's individual choice that they have boldly taken and successfully managed.
Situations that get created make the person act in a certain way,
She may be a woman, but that doesn't mean she has any less of a say.
Let's influence society for equality and good,
We promote humanity and the reason is to be understood.

- Krisha Panchal & Pragya Lodha

A Journey To Remember

"The day I catch my train on time, I'll give myself a treat", Shobha said to herself. Waiting for another train would be a looooong time at night.
As a person who was pursuing a career in photography, she had a keen nature of observing her surroundings and get lost in her thoughts. When her train arrived , she was unaware of it.
She only realised it when the train had already started moving away so she hopped in as soon as possible and into whatever compartment that was in front of her. As luck would have it, it was the general compartment.
The day she had started travelling for college, an idea had been plotted in her brain that general compartment at night can never be safe. The compartment's eerie silence was only intensified by 2 very peculiar people. There was a guy sitting in the corner wearing a hoodie and a girl somewhere in the middle row. That girl was sleeping. There was no one else apart from them in that compartment.
As she tried to steal a few glances at the man's face without making it obvious, he stood up and as took a few steps towards her. Her heart lurched into a frenzy. Fear took over her. She felt as if she had lost her voice. Even if she screamed, who would hear her over the sound of the train beating against the railway tracks? There was nothing more deafening than the silence in the compartment.
He came and asked, "I want to get down at Wadala would you mind telling me which side the platform would come? Sorry but that ma'am sitting over there (pointing his finger at the back) is asleep. So I asked you."
Still dazed because of the adrenaline pumping through her veins, she silently pointed to the opposite side. The man politely thanked her and went on to stand on the other side of the compartment.

That day, she realised that people, no matter if its a man or woman, should never be stereotyped over some prejudiced facts. If there is threat, it will be from anyone, irrespective of their gender.

Written by Akash Roy Chowdhury

5 Indian Women Who Successfully Broke Gender Stereotypes

Ishita Malviya 

The ocean has always been a place for the men, they go to the ocean to fish while women sit at home. Even now, when women go to beaches, most of them are forced to worry about sunscreen and anti-tanning lotions more. Defying societal views on skin colour, and exploring areas that were reserved for men alone, Ishita Malaviya is just 25 and the first female surfer of India. 
 

Alisha Abdullah 

 

27 year old Alisha Abdullah, is India's first female national racing champion. When she was just 13 years old, she won the MRF National Go-Karting Championship and the Best Novice Award in the National level Formula Car Racing in the open class. Her best finish has been finsihing 3rd in 2009 Super Bike Championship.

Suhasini Mulay

Suhasini Mulay, the Marathi actress, who managed to get us floored with her performances, broke the stereotype of you-will-not-find-nice-a-guy-if-you-don't-get-married-early. She got married only when she felt the time was right, something almost every woman in India needs the liberty to do. Not only did she find her partner on social media, she married him at an age of 60. She hence proved that there's no right time for love and marriage. 

Shanti Tigga

Shanti Tigga was the first female combat soldier in the Indian Army, and she achieved this feat when she was 35 and had two children. While most women are told to leave their jobs after they give birth to children, Shanti Tigga not only succeeded in achieving her goals, but also defeated all her other male counterparts during their physical tests. And just a side note (for people who believe women are the physically weaker sex) she completed the 50-meter run in 12 seconds during her tests.
Although she met with a tragic death, after her abduction, she shall always remain a woman carrying valour beyond compare.

Roshni Sharma

An engineer by profession and biker by passion, she toured the entire length of India from Kanyakumari to Leh on a bike, solo, and is the first Indian woman to do so.She passed the lofty Himalayan mountains, tough terrains, high passes of Rohtang, Sarchu, Pang and Tangalangla and rode through the dangerous glaciers and nullahs and conquered over fear with her passion. 

- Compiled by Shambhavi Kamat

One Person Is All It Took

A short story written by Akash Roy Choudhary about a boy seeing gender stereotypes and raising questions about them. I wish all of us were brave enough, like Rajesh, to ask questions! 

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As a child there were many thoughts that would just make you wonder about the way of things. Rajesh, the youngest child in a family of 4 was almost always in the limelight. He grew up in an orthodox family where questions asked about certain unspoken rules were treated like slaps on the parents' faces.
But, curiosity is the prime notion of knowledge. Maybe due to this sole reason , he had difficulty growing up following some "norms".

"Mom why does father always sit in that chair ?" (pointing out to the chair in the middle of dinner table)
"Why do you stop laughing when dad and his friends enter the room ?"
"Why do you allow me to go out all night but not Samiksha Didi, even after sunset ? It makes her sad."


Every time he asked, he received the same answer; "It's the way things are in our family. If you want something different, why don't you go try living with one of your friends' families?"

So, one day he stopped asking questions. He started to act to them. The day his deeds brought a change in his family was the day he stopped questioning about this norms.

All he was left with,  was a smile seeing his mother laugh freely.

Some things are hereditary, yes but there are ideas which are born naturally irrespective of the genes, race, gender or social status.


-Akash Roy Choudhary

Kevin: A Man on a Mission

Here's a story about Kevin, CEO of  SVN, a real estate brand. He is one of the very few men who not just stood up for women, but also took some actions to empower them and embolden their capacity. This story is also an example of how women can successfully manage their personal and professional lives. Kevin is an inspiration to Mumbai OYE and should be an example for all the male corporate executives out there. After all, we are nothing without the support of each other.
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Kevin Maggiacomo is a man on a mission to create gender-balanced leadership in all organizations worldwide by the year 2020. 

What inspired him you ask?
There existed a disproportionate number of women who were high performers, yet his company wasn't bringing any intentionality to recruiting and developing women. There was a pool of talent not being fully tapped into. 

How did he incorporate gender balance in his company?
Looking around the conference table he saw that nearly all of our execs were white, male baby boomers. He recognized that bigger results would follow once he put in place a program which caused their leadership balance to shift. The company then restructured their executive team which is actually now imbalanced at 60 percent women. Their profitability has increased by more than 100 percent and they’re trending positive across all key performance indicators.

Why is Gender Equlity important in the United States' corporate scenario?
American women were paid 59 cents for every dollar their male counterparts made. In 2010, compensation for women rose to a mere 77 cents for every dollar men made. And if change continues at the same slow pace as it has for the past 40 plus years, it will take almost another 50 (until 2056) for women to finally reach pay parity. 

What can men do to help with this situation?
There exists a preponderance of men in leadership positions. Yet, there aren’t enough male ambassadors for this change.More men need to stand up for the rights of their female colleagues, keeping aside their ego and insecurity. If a woman is on a higher position than you, she is probably there because she is better at that job than you would ever be. Standing for gender parity does not make you weak, it makes you stronger. Standing for others' rights requires strength, resilience and commitment. If a woman has dreams, the least you could do is let her be and focus on your own work. If a woman truly stands for gender equality, she doesnot think women are better than men. Gender equalist women want to walk with men, not ahead of them. Accept the fact that sometimes, a woman "gets ahead" of you, not because she thinks you are inferior due to your gender but maybe because she is genuinely better suited for that job. Yes, corporate sexual harassment is increasing, but so is the wave of gender equality. The sooner you accept this, the easier it will be for you to perform well for yourself.

Here is a picture of Kevin Maggiacomo!

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Co-written by Krisha Panchal & Shambhavi Kamat

Draw Some Inspiration

Inspiration is the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something. Ideally, this stimulation can be recieved from anyone- or anything. It may be an incident that you witnessed, something your parents said to you or even something as insignificant as a tree in the midst of shrubs.

Personally, inspiration comes from something that I have witnessed or seen.

Every woman I see in the locals who goes to work everyday inspires me.
Every man who works for women/LGBTQ rights inspires me.
Every little girl who studies everyday so that she can make her parents proud inspires me.
Every person who takes an initiative to learn inspires me.
Every girl who is living an independent life inspires me.
Every person who makes their own choices inspires me.

But, out of everything, there is no sight more inspiring than that of a person embracing themselves, all their beauty and all of their faults too.

Beauty, as quoted in BBC Sherlock, is "a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, influences and role models". Beauty comes from within and I, for one, truly believe that it only comes with acceptance.

The world would be a better place for all of us if we could accept ourself as "normal" before we even try pointing at who is "abnormal"- Because normality is a very relative term. Eating grasshoppers and roaches is normal is South Asia, but is it so in India?

Everyone feels like they don't belong, at one point of time. You are not alone. Self-acceptance will get you halfway down the road. Almost none of cross the other half anyway, so don't worry. We're all sailing in the same boat, in the end.

Also, didn't most of us turn out fine despite all the setbacks? Ofcourse we did.

- Shambhavi Kamat

Stereotypes & All Things Negative

A bold-worded poem penned by the talented poet, Miss Krisha Panchal

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Inequality is a negative word,
It is the thing that should be known by the world.
A human is a body with brain,
But sexism just makes things insane.

Expectations have led to misconceptions,
There is no boundary or deadline in the art of inspiration.

People change and so you have too,
Holding back the same dark past is called a weakness too.

Rules and regulations do not have type male and female,
Thoughts should be distributed in equal.
Pink is for him and blue for her also,
Don't let colors and other non-objective things rule our pshyco.

World has a population and not  body categories,
If only people could stop thinking in negative like fats and calories.

Its a child afterall and not a puppet,
Discrimination is poking unbroken hearts and we all need to stop it.

- Krisha Panchal

A Good Face Doesn't Equal An Educated Brain

It was one of those stormy nights when Rhea was returning home. The evening was calm and the sky had shades of orange and black clouds engulfing the entire town. It wasn't like one of those nights in horror stories but yeah it was dark. The soft breeze brushed her cold cheeks. Rhea had to rush home, she was already late for the movie and Sophie might already be fuming with anger.

She quickly planned out the details in her head as she walked. First of all, she would take a quick shower after reaching home and then head to the movies with Sophie. And then maybe end the perfect evening with a luxurious spread of Italian food. The wind slapped forcefully on her face and the rain drops pelted the umbrella like bullets. From a calm rainy night, the weather was slowly becoming fierce. The rain was now pouring and Rhea could hardly see where see was walking. Wet, tired and hungry she kept walking thinking about how her evening plans were ruined.

At a distance, she noticed a deserted bus shelter. Quickly making her way towards the bus shelter, she tripped on a stone and fell into the puddle of mud. She heard a rough voice behind her, a strong hand gripped her wrists and pulled her up. Embarrassed at her state she got up and turned around to thank the stranger.

Rhea looked at his face in wonder. She had never seen anyone as good looking as he was. He had perfect green eyes that sparkled even in the darkness, raindrops trickled down his olive colored skin, and he smiled at her as he brushed his dark wavy hair with his hand. She was awestruck and her mouth was completely dry. Rhea had always been the shy girl but he seemed so perfect to miss out on. She closed her eyes and his slightly scented shirt made her head reel. Was he the perfect guy? Was he the guy she had always wanted to spend her entire life with?

Coming out of her cocoon she broke the ice as they stood to wait for the city bus. She blushed and constantly played with her hair as she spoke about her life to this stranger. As they talked more Rhea realized they had similar tastes in music, movies, food and almost everything! Happy at how the conversation was going she even exchanged numbers with him. While discussing work life, the stranger expressed his views about how women should handle the housework instead of stepping out of their homes.

He went on to say how women were meant to handle the home and men were meant to handle the world. Just as he said this, her hands froze in her hair. It was as if someone had punched her back to reality. Faking a smile, she nodded her head every now and then. The conversation had become very cold. Just as the bus arrived, she turned around to wave goodbye. With a charming smile, he asked her to call him someday. Nodding her head, she quietly took her seat. She took out her phone to check for network and noticed the newly saved contact. Deleting the contact she heaved a sigh of relief.

She knew somewhere on this Earth she would find the right man. And he may not be as charming as the stranger was but he would definitely respect her feminity and help her develop.


- Pratiksha Padhi

Sexism, like a Tsunami

A short yet effective poem by Krisha Panchal.

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People said she was torn
Who knew she was making herself strong.
It was like the storm that changed her life,
She taught herself to cut the criticism with a knife. 
She demands the liberty that he already has,
It is the respect that she wanted to last.
Why differentiate bodies when soul is only one,
She craves for the same place,
Afraid of getting a replace.
Its the battle she faces everyday,
Crossing the path and finding another way.
Inequality being one of her enemy,
Sexism coming across her way like a tsunami.
This has to stop for the sufferers and others,
The world has to change and seize the dominance further.

- Krisha Panchal

Profession is Uni Sexual

A piece that would hopefully encourage people to do what they love and follow their heart.

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A day pronounced it's beginning and Raj was wide awake to pursue his first and very own Fashion Show. His past had some terrible struggle. The kid who was asked to be an 'Army Officer' chose to fight against all odds, do what he loved and become what he wanted to, not what he was expected to.

Raj was the third child of his parents. His Dad was an Army General, a man whose conduct was well known in the whole town. His Dad always wanted him build a rough and tough personality. But he was always inclined towards sketches and designs. 

Time flew and his art became his obsession.
 
He wanted to pursue a fashion designing course. He knew his father's approval will not be satisfactory. His dad said to him " Ab tu ladkiyo wale kaam karega? Tune mera naak kata dia samaaj me. Tujhe apna beta bolne pe muje sharam aati hai."

That day, his passion spoke. " Papa agar yeh ladkiyo ka kaam lagta hai aapko toh phir samjho mujhe aap ladki. Par main jo chahta hu, wohi main karunga."
 

Because profession is not about gender, it is about passion.

- Akash Roy

Dreams never Die

A short story written about a rape victim who is trying to move past the incident but keeps getting pulled back by the society.

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“She is that girl, the one that was raped”, she could hear their eyes screaming out as she walked past all those people in the corridor. It was her first day back to college after a year’s gap. Although everyone had welcomed her back with open arms and smiles on their faces, their eyes gave it all away. They didn’t like her, they pitied her. They said she was so brave and strong, but when she looked into their eyes, she only felt belittled by their pity. They felt sorry for what had happened to her, but she didn’t. Well, atleast not anymore..

A year ago, she was found unconscious on a street- bleeding and bruised, not just on the outside but also on the inside. People say, if someone faces a situation so unfortunate that they cannot deal with it, their brain tries to forget it and builds a defense system against those memories. But, everyone had it wrong. She remembered. She remembered every second, every word and every detail of each of their faces. She remembered every agonized scream she had voiced sent into the universe, and how it had sent back nothing- just empty silence. Those 3 hours replayed in her mind again and again and again until she finally lost consciousness while trying to walk back home.

The next thing she knew was hearing her mother’s voice, staccato, in whispers. She was sobbing. As she opened her eyes towards the familiar voice, she realized she was in the hospital, surrounded by her family. The physical pain was treated well by her doctors and her rapists were caught sooner than expected. The wounds on her mind and soul were tended to by her psychiatrist and the people who loved her the most in this world- her family. Of course it wasn’t an easy ride but she knew that from the moment she decided she was not going to let those 3 hours dictate every decision she ever made.

She just wished that everyone would do the same. For once, she wanted to be looked at as just another girl and not the rape victim.

In the past year, she had found out so much more about herself than she had in the rest of her life. She had gotten so close to her family and she had finally gotten to know who was going to “be there” for her when the going got tough. She wasn’t perfect and she knew she will never be, because she believed something perfect has no scope for improvement, growth and progress. She didn’t want to be perfect because she wanted to grow.

But now, every time someone tried to help her out, she could feel that it was only out of pity and not humanity. So many people had come up to her and expressed their condolences in badly formed sentences…

“I’m so sorry. It’s a heinous crime against humanity and I am glad those assholes got caught”,

“I hope you’re doing okay now. Just wanted to tell you I’m here for you if you need to talk about it”

“I can’t even imagine going through all of that. You’re so strong and brave. You’re an inspiration to me”,

“You know you can still lead a normal life. You are such a brave girl.”

She often joked about it with her mother. Everyone treated her as if someone had died, but in truth, she had never felt more alive than right now. She had a second chance at her life, she was back to college and had her whole life laid out in front of her. Life had given her a second blank canvas to fill with beautiful colors.

Her whole life was ahead of her, but people wouldn’t stop pestering her about her past.

So when her best friend asked her what she wished for on her 20th birthday, she only said “I only wished that people would allow me to enjoy the present and look forward to a bright future without bringing up the past”.

 - Shambhavi Kamat

SCARS STILL REMAIN THE SAME

A thought invoking short story penned by Pratiksha Padhi.

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And again, It was the month of October, one of the most peaceful evenings. The leaves had begun to change color to beautiful shades of magma reds and hot oranges. It was as if there was a riot of colors in the trees, looking fiery and magnificent in those shades. Adira turned as she heard the squirrels scrabble through the fallen leaves. It had been over an hour at the park and the canvas in front of her was still empty. She clutched the pencil in her hand, feeling frustrated and empty. Had it been three years back, she would have easily completed her masterpiece by then and filled it with the colors. But, she was dazed, befuddled. October was always her favorite time of the year as everything around seemed colorful, bright and vibrant with a tinge of paleness. The sun was cold and seemed to throw weak streaks of light. Kids around her played ball and chuckled. She smiled and nodded. Adira remembered her early years. 

There had been a time when she was taken to the zoo and oh, how amazed she was by the Tigress. Adira saw her first and was mesmerized. She walked through the long stretch of green with balletic grace, her shoulders gathered. Her smouldering and chatoyant eyes examined the crowd. And that's when her eyes met Adira's. She seemed to look deep into Adira's soul. She seemed to smirk as though she had recognized the fear. Her savaging grandeur, strength, and power couldn't be described with just words. Her fur was shaded with flaming orange dashed with gunpowder black stripes. Everything about her resembled strength. Adira admired her.

Adira began to sketch the image that she had in her mind. Her hands seemed to move with ease. Ultimately her final piece was ready. Proud at her masterpiece, Adira stared at it for a while and that's when she noticed the bruises on her wrists. Pulling at her sleeve to cover it up, she became uncomfortable.She wondered how ironical her sketch was from the reality. She had always wanted to be independent, strong and powerful. Born into this patriarchal society she had become the silent sufferer of prejudices, conventions and ignorance. She was a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister but she had lost her individuality. She could feel the agony and ecstasy at not being able to become what she had wanted to be.

Adira had fallen in love with her childhood friend and also married him later. But soon, things had changed. She was dominated and beaten up upon the slightest things. She had learned to bow her head before the world. Her hands quivered as she thought of those days. Her body was covered with scars and bruises. She could feel the excruciating pain building up inside her. But somewhere deep inside she had always wished to be like the Tigress. But were her thoughts far-fetched or was it the world that had snatched her dreams and desires?

-Pratiksha Padhi

An informative summary of feminism

Nikita has collected efforts to very precisely sum up her passion for the topic of Feminism, majorly dashed with theory and that's how she likes to call it:

Informative Summary of Feminism

People are often confused when we talk about feminism.
Let's have a short summary of what feminism portrays.

What is Feminism?

Feminism is the belief that all beings, both women and men, are entitled to the same civil rights and liberties. Individuals become gendered in society, creating various social based roles, but rights? Rights are meant be equal.

Thus, we can conclude that it is a movement seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

QUICK LOOK OVER THE THREE WAVES OF FEMINISM -

The diversity and fluidity of this movement can be summarized into three waves namely -

Suffrage [First Wave] :
This movement took place in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century. It concentrated on voting rights, property rights, birth control (that existed at the time - condoms or sponges and, just as important, education about sexuality and how to prevent conception.)

Equal Wave [Second Wave] : This wave began in 1960s and continued into the 90s. This movement concentrated on sexual freedom, legislative work to change sexist law, integration into the workplace, equal funding, integration into the political arena.

Patriarchy [Third Wave] : This wave began in the mid 90s. It concentrated on sexual freedom, inclusion of gendered females, diversity, inclusion of women of color and women from other cultures - plus the issues surrounding both first and second wave feminism.




-Nikita Sontakke

Gender Unbiased

Akash Roy has come up with a beautiful short story and Nihit has sketched those words simply yet powerfully. You'd definitely not want it go amiss!

Morning witnessed her smile. And the sun smiled back at her, the radiant heat had struck every cell of her skin. Every thing in her list was ticked off. Makeup - done, medicines - done, purse - done. Then she saw the photo; and off she went to office. 

What is the story behind the photo? 

April 2014: 

It was her first day at office. She was late. A thought came to her mind, "Maybe the drink last night got too much into me." Her personality blooming with confidence made her an instant star. Everything seemed way too perfect. She got her new project. This girl was the definition of hard work. She strove each day and made the project. Many people were asked to do the same project. Time to select the best one out of all that had arrived.
Everyone presented their work. She was the best and everyone appreciated her work. Then, their  decision came to the fore. Suresh was declared the best and was asked to go for onsite work. Everyone was shocked. Questions were asked worryingly. The manager replied, " Ladka hai, site pe wahi tikega; ladkiya office me theek hai." She asked the Manager to have a conversation with her for 5 minutes.
After that day, the manager was thrown out of the office. His post was filled in by her. No one knows what she said. But her courage that day gave her colleagues a message to remember for their log-drawn future. The photo on her wall was of her first site.

                                                          

- Written by Akash Roy Choudhary; Sketched by Nihit Agarwala

Feminism

It is not just "she", but also "he".

Supporters are for both and not only one,
People need to analyse and change has to be done.
Her soul burns out when she is not counted,
Don't forget she is the only reason why you are counted.
Its the indivisual soul that has to be liberal,
Demotivators are bridges and are the same cruel.
A life has to live irrespective of its kind,
Nothing but the hope keeps us strong that when will society change their mind.
Overpowering is killing one's dreams,
Tears have filled up the wells and thats what it seems like.
Dominance is not only tearing her but him too,
Feminism shelters them both through thick and thin too.
Boy-girl, male-female are building up the barriers,
Things have to stop and should be taken care of by the egalitarian carriers. 
Opportunities should not carry gender discrimination,
Steps have to be taken and go through the process of eradication. 
So feminism is not only for "feminine",
It is a whole new world and it also has a place for the "masculine".

- Krisha Panchal

Just 'Words' Matter

A poem themed around the idea of equality for men and women, expressed flowing thoughts by Krisha Panchal.

Just 'Words' Matter

It was the time when a child had been born,

Happiness took over when the day turned dawn.

The child came out to be the ruling queen,

It was a mere miracle that was never seen.

Years went by and future had darkened,

The smiling face faded and she was broken.

She then learned, it was discrimination,

A mixture of dominance and humiliation.

Questions were spilled out on the human race,

It had to turn and change the powering phase.

"She will not do it" who says,

"Only she can do it" is what it pays.

He needs her and she needs him,

Equality is what matters and that's the rythym.

He and she are just words,

After all its one soul and that's how it works.

Equality and freedom are the new dope,

Two little words that gave us new hope.

-Krisha Panchal